What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
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