What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
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