What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
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