What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
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