What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
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