What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Go to BabaMail
