What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
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