There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
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