According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
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