How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
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