I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.