What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
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