How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
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