Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
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