What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
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