What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
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