A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
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