What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”