What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
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