I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
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