What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
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