How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.