What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
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