What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
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