What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
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