What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
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