What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
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