What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
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