A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
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