How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.