How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
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