Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.