Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
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