What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
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