Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
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