What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.