Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
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