A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
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