What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
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