What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.