What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
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