Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
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