What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
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