Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
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