What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.