Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
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