What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
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