What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
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