What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
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