Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
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