Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
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