How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
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