Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
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