Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.