What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
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