Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
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