A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
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