What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
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