What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
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