What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
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