Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
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