What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
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