What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
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