Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
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