Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
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