What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
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