What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
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