My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
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