How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
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