What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
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