Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
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