If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
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