Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.