Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
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