What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
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