What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
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