What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
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