What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
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