What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.