What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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