What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
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