What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
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