What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
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