Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
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