What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
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