What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
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