Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
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