What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
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