Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
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