Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.