What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
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