How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
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