Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
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