What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
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