What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
My fat parrot escaped from its cage... To be honest, it's a weight off my shoulders!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
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