What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
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