Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
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