When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
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