Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
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