Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
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