What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
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