What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
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