How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
My lobster's name is:
Claude
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