When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
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