What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
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