What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
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