The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
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