Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
I like you, you croc my world.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
I goat this.
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